Body Love

Today I did a photoshoot for a magazine {fairly certain I cannot say much more than that – it is about sex, body image/weight issues and its effect on sex}. Not telling which magazine.

I arrived feeling extremely nervous. The butterflies were being chased by elephants and was not a good feeling. Not to mention, seeing the tiniest girls all around me in the most gorgeous clothes. Forget body envy, I had fashion envy!

Before I would have sniggered at what people were wearing. But having been on the receiving end of this so many times, I don’t. Instead I am the girl that will look at what you are wearing, flash you an awesomely-big smile and hope you return it to me. Some girls don’t.

Anyway, back to the photoshoot. I had my hair and make up done {see above. Totally made up!}. As the boyfriend said “I looked all dolled up” {he saw me before he went to work}. I was dressed in a cute little black dress that was size twelve. Yes I do fit into a size 12 depending on the *ahem* brand and fabric. So, that means that I can range up a size 16 too.

The dress was pinned to my bra ladies. It would not do all the way up. Embarrassing? Yes. Did I left it affect me? Hell no. I had a cute little jacket to wear anyways. Totally couldn’t see the zipper.

But I immediately saw my thighs. White, fat and full of cellulite. They haven’t graced my presence since well. Autumn. Summer even. And I didn’t even shave my legs. Eek!

It was okay though. I thought. Meh. I am pale and proud. And was helped into the heels.

Ladies I love heels. I have a new passion for them. But now, I seriously have lost that passion after standing in them for what felt like an eternity {it was half an hour if that!} I have a new found admiration for the girls who can walk in them. I can do the smaller heels, where I feel closer to the ground but not these babies. There was lots of swaying. Lots of hoping to god I wouldn’t fall over. Lots of little steps because I fell off balance that many times.

I felt extremely bad. I did explain before she put them on that I could not walk in heels. I just had to stand there. And stand there I did.

The photographer was hilarious. Asking me to frown, before pulling funny faces. Told me to look at my shoes, then do the “come-back-to-the-bedroom eyes”. Lets just say that the “eyes” didn’t happen because I was too busy cracking myself laughing. Or telling me that if I do fall over, he was going to have that photographed.

He was nice though. They all were.

They all told me how pretty I looked and went through the photographs with me. Showed me their favourites. As soon as I looked at the photograph though, my eyes went straight from my face to those white, fat, cellulite thighs. “Ick” I thought, “Who on earth would want to see that in a magazine”. I held back my comments, going through all the photographs. Hoping that there would be just one where my legs didn’t look hideous.

They were all telling me how gorgeous I looked. How pretty that photograph was. Or that one. And why. It was nice but I just couldn’t help feeling fat. The prettiness had gone.

I said my goodbyes and thanked them. I had had a wonderful time.

I tweeted what I thought about my thighs, my utter disgust that I had let them get so damn bad.

Liz tweeted back:

Then you need someone else’s eyes looking at them and telling you the things that you should be looking at! Never look for the bad stuff or put yourself down. There’s plenty of people who will do that for you sadly. Be kind to yourself. *insert smiley face*

And it is true.

How often do you receive a compliment only to throw it right back at the person, dismissing what they had to say?

How often do you stand in front of mirror, pulling and poking your skin, “fixing” your body to how you think it should look?

I say no more! You should love your body for what you have not for what you are wanting to achieve. There is always the desire to be skinnier, taller, have straight hair, have blue eyes, have tanned skin.

I want you to stop and be proud of YOU for who YOU are.

This Friday {the 15th of October} I want YOU to tell me three things you love about YOURSELF {including your body!} I want to see happy photographs of you! Showing off YOUR body!

Because ladies it is time to be proud!

I will have a McLinky attached to my Beauty post that I will put up bright and early Friday morning and show you all MY photograph of me loving my body!

I hope that you will join in and be proud of YOU {your body included!}

Carly <3